“Finding her would be like

Giving birth a second time.”

– A Vietnamese mom,

looking for the daughter she gave for adoption.

She found her.



“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

– Ambrose Redmoon

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Rebecca  |  December 7, 2007 at 12:24 am

    Dear Julia,

    I have not thoroughly read all your blog entries, but I have read a few. I am Korean-American, married to a Caucasian, have been infertile for 6+ years, and really want kids but feeling nervous about adoption. I’ve been thinking about the fact that the birthmother had a choice to give up the child for adoption, the adopting parents had a choice to adopt, but the child(ren) never had a choice, not even where they may want to be placed and with whom. I struggle with the idea that our child(ren) may feel like he/she is so different from us and would be unhappy. I feel that in some ways adoption exists (for the most part) because two groups of people find themselves in unfortunate circumstances that neither would have desired yet it is the best, hopefully for both that they have found.

    Our inter-racial marriage makes adoption much more complicated. In your opinion, do you think it would have made any difference for you if you had been adopted by Koreans? How important do you think it is that the adopted child comes from similar racial or cultural heritage? I have recently learned that I cannot adopt from Korea because I am living overseas. So, we have been debating about adopting from Kazakhstan where kids are bi-racial… they may at least have a glimpse at what their biological parents may have been like when they look at us? Anyway, now I feel like I am rambling…. I have really appreciated you sharing your story. It is so helpful for someone like me who is thinking seriously about adoption.

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