An Ugly Life

August 13, 2008 at 2:17 pm 7 comments

Another beautiful poem by our Julia – I think it speaks for itself.



I wished for you,
an ugly life.
The story of a stolen daughter,
The kind full of poverty, addiction,
and illness.
Of broken hearts and crushed dreams.
I wished for you,
an ugly life.

My wish would bring to me,
Would bring me family once loved
A tragic story could explain our loss
Our reunion, could have been my gain.

Instead, I’m your shame.
Your rich life, your four new ones,
hiding under it all,
I can find you there, I know.
but I can never find myself,
in your beautiful life.


Entry filed under: 3442.

“The Hummus Place” 6.

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. esperandoazufan  |  August 14, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    Wow, I really love this poem. It does speak for itself.

  • 2. Brit  |  August 29, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Thank you for posting this for her

  • 3. esperandoazufan  |  September 1, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Another blogger friend has also had a loss, and this comment was left for her. It made me think of your loss, so I have cut and pasted it for you. I hope you don’t mind. I especially like the third quote. Again, this was all written by someone else. She says:

    I wanted to share three quotes by Brian Andreas that gave me some comfort in my own grief process:

    “I still remember the day the world took you back & there was never time to thank you for the thousand scattered moments you left behind to watch us while we slept.”

    “It is still so new & all we see is the empty space, but that is not how it is in the landscape of the heart. There, there is no empty space & she still laughs & grapples with ideas & plans & nods wisely with each of us in turn. We are proud to have known her. We are proud to have called her friend.”

    “I carry you with me into the world, into the smell of rain
    & the words that dance between people & for me, it will always be this way, walking in the light, remembering being alive together”

  • 4. Margie (Third Mom)  |  September 3, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    Julia sweetie, it has been weeks since I read this post, and I haven’t had the heart to comment. I hate that you felt this, hate that any adoptee feels this. But I understand why.

  • 5. Neighborhood Watch « Borrowed Notes  |  September 22, 2008 at 1:25 am

    […] Another beautiful poem by our Julia – I think it speaks for itself. […]

  • 6. Margie  |  September 26, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Julia, I’m not sure why, but this week you have been in my head all week. I miss you!! I keep looking at the google chat thingy on my PC waiting for you to ping, but you don’t!!

    Your birthday card came back to me a few weeks ago; I don’t have the heart to open it and see what I wrote. And then this week the bracelet came back, too. I want Leila to have it. I hope she says yes.

    You are missed, very missed, by me.

  • 7. steprepeat  |  October 29, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    As a korean-american adoptee I am so glad to have stumbled upon this blog.
    Thanks for your comment.


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Julia’s Jam

It’s just not that black & white. Not because I am taking a stand against. Just because, the issues I face are somewhere in the grey area and to weed through them, I blog. I blog. ~

Glimpse of Julia

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