Thank You

June 5, 2008 at 8:37 am 20 comments

I’m remiss to answer many of your heartfelt condolences sent privately and through this blog, but thank you, and thank you; I feel very little these days, but I do hope Julia can see the love she’s shared has spread through the many people who have come to know her and to love her.

There will be a memorial service for Julia in Seoul, Korea at the KoRoot Guest House – – dedicated to providing a place for international adoptees while they stay in Seoul. The memorial will begin at 7pm. There will be Lee Herrick’s poem “Light” read, one of her posts (and please feel free to comment on which one you feel best serves this purpose), a Eulogy, some music, and a gathering afterwards. If you’re in Seoul, feel free to email for further details.


I’ve written a short obituary to be distributed there as well:

Julia Ann Mendelson, 구지혜, passed on her light the morning of Saturday, May 31st, 2008, at the age of 25 years and 2 days, after a 2-year battle with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. She is survived by her family in Israel, especially: Yudit, Ranaan, and Gilad (Gigi); her second adoptive mother Ajumma and her husband Ajossi; Ajumma’s sons and daughter, who gave Julia her first bone marrow transplant; her closest friends Leila, Maya and the rest of her Israeli friends and loved ones; John Arbour, who found love within her enfolding embrace and wished he could give her an equal light to share; and the thousands and thousands of people she touched with her wondrous writing, conversation, laughter, and smile across the Korean adoptee universe, foodie world, and every continent. Her reach was far, her heart was good, and her love encompassing. May we remember her as Julia Ji Hye, lover, beloved, and light to our community and our hearts. May 29th 1983 – May 31st, 2008.

Entry filed under: 3442.

Black Eulogy

20 Comments Add your own

  • 1. justenjoyhim  |  June 5, 2008 at 11:05 am

    John, the obituary is absolutely beautiful, although I think you probably did give an equal light to share. You’re a wonderful person; I can tell that in your writing and in the love you and Julia shared. Please be extra good to yourself now.

    This post in its entirety is beautiful. *sniff* I am still so very sorry for your loss. Julia was indeed a light for the world. You will always take a part of Julia with you, John. I’m sure that’s small comfort now, though and I hope that doesn’t offend you.

    You’re in my thoughts and prayers so much, John, as you grieve your love, Julia.

  • […] a love like no other Read Julia’s obituary, written by John, here. […]

  • 3. Coco  |  June 5, 2008 at 11:11 am

    John, the obituary is lovely and touching.

    Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

  • 4. Paula O.  |  June 5, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    John, my heart is so heavy for you and for those who loved and knew Julia. I can only imagine the immense pain, numbness and the ernormity of the feelings that you and those closest to her are going through right now.

    My thoughts and prayers remain with you, John.

    I, too, am so, so sorry.

  • 5. Margie  |  June 5, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    Beautiful, just beautiful, John. My thoughts will be at the memorial service when I wake up tomorrow.

  • 6. Becca  |  June 5, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    I wish I were in Korea to stand testiment to all the people Julia has touched. I will be here in spirit.

    I pray that you have the strength and love to carry you through this hard time. I know Julia is watching over her loved ones.

    I was thinking of her yesterday morning when I was walking my dog. I realized that a deer was staring at us. I told her that we meant no harm, not to be afraid. When I came back through she was still standing there. She and another deer followed us down the path. I said “Thank you Julia for giving me a sign.

    Unexpected grace that follows still when you least expect it. I mourn the friend who shared my name Hye.

  • 7. Jen  |  June 5, 2008 at 1:00 pm


    It is a beautiful tribute to Julia…just beautiful. As an adoptive parent to young 3 kids from Korea, she touched my heart and soul with her writings. Wish that I could be in Korea right now standing with all those who love her.

  • 8. echaos  |  June 5, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    That is a beautiful tribute. I too am sorry for you loss.

  • 9. Lee H.  |  June 5, 2008 at 1:56 pm


    I can only imagine how difficult that beautiful tribute was to write and how heavy your heart is now. I will be there in spirit on Friday at KoRoot and always wishing you, Julia, and her family peace and blessings. I am beyond honored that my poem provided an iota of support during this time of suffering, and as you know, there are thousands of us who send our love.


  • 10. Ji In  |  June 5, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    I’m thinking of you and wishing you peace, John. It’s so good to hear that Julia will be remembered by the memorial service in Seoul. What a perfect place for it to happen. I’ll never forget her …

  • 11. Susan  |  June 5, 2008 at 9:50 pm

    What a beautiful obituary, John: I am thinking of you with love, and remembering Julia’s beatuiful writings and beatuiful soul. I”m so sorry.

  • 12. Abby  |  June 5, 2008 at 11:12 pm

    John, That was absolutely beautiful. I wish I could be there for the memorial in person, but will be there in spirit along with all the other people who Julia has touched.

  • 13. MH  |  June 5, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    Beautiful tribute for a beautiful person.

    John, you’re amazing.

  • 14. Amy  |  June 5, 2008 at 11:55 pm

    Julia, your blog has touched me and changed me.
    John, your pain pierces my heart.

  • 15. Jane  |  June 6, 2008 at 12:09 am

    Hugs to you John..the obit is beautfiul..On June 4th it was Global Peace Day and I dedicated my Peace Globe In Julia,s Memory
    Again I am so sorry for you loss 😦

  • 17. Frederik -Yimana  |  June 6, 2008 at 3:35 am

    Amahoro John – May peace with you. –

    Frederik – Yimana

  • 18. Frederik -Yimana  |  June 6, 2008 at 3:46 am

    Amahoro John – May peace be with you –

    Frederik – Yimana

  • 19. Possum  |  June 6, 2008 at 5:24 am

    Just beautiful.
    Poss. xxxxx

  • 20. Julia « Land of the Not-So-Calm  |  June 9, 2008 at 10:57 am

    […] Thank You and Eulogy by John […]


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Julia’s Jam

It’s just not that black & white. Not because I am taking a stand against. Just because, the issues I face are somewhere in the grey area and to weed through them, I blog. I blog. ~

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