June 1, 2008 at 11:56 pm 30 comments

You were buried 16 hours ago.

All is black for me my baby.  Do you hear me?

I cry for you, into silence,

but it deafens me.

I shout your name without opening my mouth,

but it echoes, a hole in my chest.

I see light,

but I feel no warmth.

I wonder baby,

Are you gone from me?

Entry filed under: 3442.

I Cry For You Thank You

30 Comments Add your own

  • 1. justenjoyhim  |  June 2, 2008 at 12:05 am

    Oh, (((John))).

  • 2. Possum  |  June 2, 2008 at 12:34 am

    Poss. xxxxx

  • 3. Eun Mi  |  June 2, 2008 at 12:58 am

    It’s hard enough for those of us who didn’t truly know her. John, I can’t even begin to imagine the loss you are dealing with.

    Cry loud and hard. Let others help you; I know, not easy for an adoptee, but necessary…so necessary.

    You’re in my thoughts.

  • 4. Paula O.  |  June 2, 2008 at 7:50 am

    ((((((John)))))) I’m thinking of you during this unimaginably difficult and incredibly painful time. I’m so, so sorry.

  • 5. Paula O.  |  June 2, 2008 at 7:51 am

    ((((((John)))))) I’m thinking of you during this unimaginably difficult and incredibly painful time. I’m so, so sorry.

  • 6. Paula O.  |  June 2, 2008 at 7:52 am

    (((((John))))) I’m thinking of you during this incredibly difficult and painful time. I’m so sorry.

  • 7. Margie  |  June 2, 2008 at 7:55 am

    (((((((John))))))), my heart’s breaking for you.

  • 8. Sara_2  |  June 2, 2008 at 8:00 am

    adding some tears to yours.

  • 9. dawn  |  June 2, 2008 at 8:29 am

    My heart breaks for you.

    With time may you find peace in your happy memories and feel her warmth in your heart.

  • 10. Jane  |  June 2, 2008 at 8:56 am


  • 11. Jen  |  June 2, 2008 at 9:38 am


  • 12. Heather  |  June 2, 2008 at 10:08 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. Julia touched so many people, including those — like me — she had never met.

  • 13. serenityinseoul  |  June 2, 2008 at 10:21 am

    John, I am thinking of you and feeling for your loss.

  • 14. Susan  |  June 2, 2008 at 11:56 am

    John, you don’t know me and Julia didn’t even know me, but I was and am so moved by both of your words. I am so sorry for this enormous, unfathomable loss.
    From a sister adoptee.

  • 15. Coco  |  June 2, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    I’m so very, very sorry for your loss, John.

    You and yours are in my thoughts now. Though you and I do not know each other, and I knew Julia far too briefly, please know that many, many people out here (including me), care about you very much, especially in this sad time.

  • 16. wanda  |  June 2, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    Thank you, Julia. Be at rest.
    Peace to you, John.

  • 17. Margaret  |  June 2, 2008 at 9:41 pm

    I am so very sorry this is happening to you. WIll be praying for you and your family.

  • 18. Yoli  |  June 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    I am so incredibly sorry. Peace to your heart. She will be missed. She was an amazing woman.

  • 19. Sooka  |  June 3, 2008 at 3:25 am

    Though I’ve never met you, since John told me about you, so somehow I feel like I’ve met you before..
    He said you are such a beautiful and smart girl in many ways..
    John, your family, friends’s soul stay forever with you I believe…
    Peace to your heart, Julia-shi.

  • 20. issycat  |  June 3, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    I’m so sorry. I’m crying too. The whole world should be crying for you and Julia.

  • 21. Jen  |  June 3, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    I’m so sorry John. She was an amazing woman.

  • 22. Mei-Ling  |  June 3, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    Julia will always spiritually be with you.

    I’m sorry for your loss.

  • 23. Kahlan  |  June 3, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    (((John))) No words are sufficient. I am so incredibly sorry.

  • 24. toni  |  June 4, 2008 at 12:02 am


  • 25. meadow  |  June 4, 2008 at 6:26 am

    the loss of Julia is so hearbreaking. I cannot fathom it, and can’t believe she is gone.

    But not forgotten. Rest in Peace Julia…

  • 26. Lissa  |  June 4, 2008 at 8:19 am

    I’m very sorry for your loss. May peace be with you.

  • 27. Laura  |  June 4, 2008 at 9:16 am

    You know how much we all love you, John, and how much we all love Julia. How unfortunate that our lives have been so riddled with loss, and with tears. But we have found each other.

    You gave her love, which is worth more than anything in this world. When you’re still and you suddenly feel warm, that’s her…
    She’ll always be with you, John…Forever.


  • 28. MH  |  June 4, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    John, I’m so sorry for your loss…

  • 29. Rosemary  |  June 4, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    Oh, ‘m so so very sorry, John. I have no words, just profound sadness for you and all the others who knew and loved Julia. She touched many, many lives. My heart goes out to you. Sending loads of cyber hugs to you, John.
    You are all in my thoughts here. Rest in peace, sweet Julia. You are greatly missed.

  • 30. JA  |  July 4, 2008 at 1:28 pm


    I am so sorry for your loss. I found Julia’s blog tonight while searching for information on international adoption. See, we are caucasian and want to adopt from Asia. Her writings shed so much light on the issues of adoption and I feel so much more aware now. I don’t want my child to feel the way she did about being adopted. It broke my heart, and I am proud of her for speaking up, for educating me, for giving me a gift larger than she will ever know. We will adopt internationally, but we will be more aware, more thoughtful. I stayed up until 3:30 am reading every blog Julia wrote. I’m exhausted, mentally and physically and I feel like I knew her. Like she was a friend, a sister, a daughter. I miss her already and I just met her tonight…an angel sent to me. I know you miss her too, and I’m sorry.


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Julia’s Jam

It’s just not that black & white. Not because I am taking a stand against. Just because, the issues I face are somewhere in the grey area and to weed through them, I blog. I blog. ~

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