Archive for May, 2008

I Cry For You

My love, Julia, passed away this morning, May 31st 2008.

I have no words or thoughts – just empty tears and pain.

May 31, 2008 at 6:44 pm 79 comments



for Julia

How light is your room in Jerusalem?
If love is air, then you breathe it into the world—

to Amie in California, who thinks of you tonight,
to Frederik, born in Rwanda and adopted to Belgium at 8,

he thinks of your laughter. And Laura, who wanted
to embrace you in Philadelphia. She is here, too.

I wonder, Julia, how light are you tonight?
On the subway in Seoul, when you fell asleep

in 2005 before the blasts and the chemo,
did you know your light could outweigh even this?

I don’t know what light I have—
but here it is. Take it.

The Sudanese mother you teach Hebrew to,
you are her light.

All the adoptees in Copenhagen, New York, Seoul,
we share light, don’t we?

And yours, the shining want, the Grace you embody,
is a lamp in us. Take these lamps and sleep.

And then, wake again and breathe.

Written by Lee Herrick

May 30, 2008 at 11:30 am 10 comments

Simply Not Done

When I really get down to it, there are not that many reasons to live. For me, right now, there is just one main reason: I’m simply not done yet. Life is simpler than people give it credit for and in the end (and I have seen the last chapter of this book, a few times over) there isn’t that much you are left with that complicates. 

This book, my life, had a sucky ending. I’ll see, maybe it hasn’t gone to print yet and there is still time to tweak the ending a bit. But, much like my typical reading habits, I started off with good intentions, the first few chapters first. Soon my curiosity got the best of me and I skipped through (cheated a bit) to the ending. As disappointing as the ending turned out to be, I am determined to go back and re-write what I can. 

There is a catch. I am only a contributor to this book and not the main author. I am keenly aware that my name won’t be on the binding or on the front cover. If I am lucky I will get an honorable mention on the gratuity page. As meager my part maybe, I’m simply not done yet. Here are a few of my notes for chapters four through the last chapter. You can consider it cliff notes/cheating just in case we find ourselves side-by-side in the metal chairs at the Wednesday night book club a good 70 years from now. 

Just to recap… In chapters one through three, we have already read that a small yellow baby was born to a beautiful yellow woman in the land of morning calm. The beautiful woman (actually, a girl) sent her defenseless babe off on the same day she was born to a life she had hoped be full of promise – in a land she only knew of from glamorous TV shows and possibly fashion magazines. A decision she would soon regret and then make over again much later. The infant was actually exactly what the young Jewish white couple in New York thought they were looking for. The purchase was a bit tricky as the beautiful yellow woman was actually pretty wishy-washy (obviously a genetically dominate trait), but the New Yorkers had the funds and wouldn’t be outbid. (Lucky for the New Yorkers, the system favors Benjamins over Deoxyribonucleic acid.) The defenseless babe grew to be even more beautiful than her mother, only with a bigger rack (I can embellish if I want to!). Chapter three ends when the semi-mature beautiful bigger rack woman (previously known as “defenseless babe”) – let’s now call her Julia – graduated university and was diagnosed with a terminal illness. She is shipped off to the holy land where Dr. and Mrs. New Yorker kindly drop out of the picture.
Now the cliff notes for the part yet to be written…

  • The terminal illness is nothing a little bit of umbilical cord blood can’t cure. It comes at a cost though. Although she has a chance at living, she is no longer genetically connected to BYW (Beautiful Yellow Woman), albeit still genetically related to the land of her birth. A hard blow and ironic twist. 
  • Julia’s love of her life is tired of his busy 7am-10pm life and is eager for adventure. The apartment she purchased becomes their apartment and they begin a healing journey of adventure that they dreamed up several years prior. After all, she had bought the place for its generous kitchen; something she knew might tempt him. 
  • They go on this hiking trip in Brazil, that adorable bungalow in Southeast Asia, the oasis in the Gulf, and together they sip sweet tea from the vendor in Pune. Then the teaching trip to their homeland for a few years. Let’s not forget the lobster in Maine, the Moroccan restaurant down the street, and the Thai trip that was once postponed. Somewhere between it all, Julia earns her graduate degree and love of her life gets that bike he keeps casually mentioning. They will “settle down” in many different places over the years.
  • He’s an amazing father and she is given the opportunity to show off her ability to give and teach unconditional love without ever being taught by example in the same manner. They complete her; fulfilling a childhood dream and life-long aspiration. He had once told her that it doesn’t matter how they come to him and he is right (although she would have never believed him had she not experienced it herself). His parents (nothing like the New Yorkers of Julia’s early days) have prepared him well for this task and she admires this about him. 
  • At some point, she might get to meet BYW. Maybe LOHL’s (Love Of Her Life’s) BYW as well. That would be very good. The four replacements too.
  • She grows old. Very old. So does he. They’ve seen the entire world, a few times over. They’ve watched their children grow, their families grow too. 

My life is a book and I have read the final chapter, but it sucked and it needs some major editing. First, I need to go back and write the rest, because I am simply just not done yet.
See you at book club…

May 9, 2008 at 11:02 am 27 comments

Julia’s Jam

It’s just not that black & white. Not because I am taking a stand against. Just because, the issues I face are somewhere in the grey area and to weed through them, I blog. I blog. ~

Glimpse of Julia

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