Lessons Learned from a Korean Ajumma

February 14, 2007 at 10:48 pm 3 comments

Lemons are useless unless you have a stomach ache.

Blankets are not clean unless they are dried in the sun and are stiff.

Just because a sofa has a slip cover does not mean it no longer needs to be protected.

If it is a good idea, it was probably done by Koreans 1,000 years before anyone else and 2,000 year before the Japanese.

Don’t be afraid to insult someone by accident.

When in a crowded place, it is better to push than be pushed.

A dog should wear a sweater, a small bow in it’s hair, and be reprimanded with a swinging broom.

Squatting for an hour is the only way to make kimchi – sitting is for whimps!

Insulting an Ajumma’s food is the worst crime one can commit, unless you are saying it is too spicy – that is really a compliment.

Eating a meal without a small soup is not healthy.

Sweating out a fever is better than taking Tylenol.

When the doctor says “do not eat anything” what he really means is “sneak some jook.”

White kids look cute, but are really badly behaved.

Chicken is health-food, chicken with ginseng is better than antibiotics.

Excluding rice and eating fish instead of meat is a form of Korean Weight Watchers.

There is nothing a special health-food “drink” cannot fix.

Cook up a storm when you are expecting guests – starting early in the morning and going all day without a rest – and then when they arrive and fuss over your hard work, down play it as “just a little something to eat.”

When you give a gift, make sure to announce what it is before the person can unwrap it – that’s the modest way to gift-give.

Wash out the inside of your fridge on a regular basis.

If you are half-listening to someone and then realize that you have no clue as to what they are rambling on about, a simple “auh” will do and they never have to know you were not listening.

If someone is talking to you while you are watching your favorite K-drama, that is grounds for a slap.

Playing Mah Jong is serious business and your reputation is built upon it.

Exercise should be done early in the morning and in a plastic one-piece suit to encourage sweating.

Stretching should consist of fast and abrupt, jerking movements.

Don’t feel obligated to talk to your husband just because you are sitting in the same room in silence for over an hour with him.

If you love someone, you make sure they eat after they say they are full.

There is no cultural divide that DHL cannot bridge.

Missing church is a sin and grounds for gossip.

Never give in to the idea that non-Korean food is good.

Feel a sense of responsibility towards others.

Check on your child when they are sleeping in the middle of the night, no matter how old they are.

Embrace everyone. Love others with all your heart.

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Entry filed under: Korean.

Born Again 돼지의 년!

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Eun-jung  |  February 28, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    Hey Julia- I was just browsing along to other KAD blogs and found yours! I love this post! Really amazing.

    🙂 Lots of love from a fellow KAD.

    EJ

    Reply
  • 2. ihategreenpeas  |  March 11, 2007 at 6:54 pm

    baw haw haw! if I only had a dollar for every time my mom tried to make me drink some sort of “health” drink. >gag

    Reply
  • 3. Margie  |  May 15, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    I love Ajumma!!! Tell her for me!!

    And this:

    “If someone is talking to you while you are watching your favorite K-drama, that is grounds for a slap.”

    is going to be embroidered on a pillow and thrown at certain members of my family who just don’t get it!!!

    Reply

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