I have no pride.

April 19, 2006 at 7:55 pm 4 comments

A few days ago that woman at the agency with the "Latino" daughter (see previous post: Wrong!), asked me "do you have more pride for the U.S. or Korea?"

I was a bit caught off-guard and said, "umm… what?"

She continued (although I wish she would have stopped!), "I mean, are you proud to be an American? To have freedoms and rights? Or would you rather be in Korea with your own people?"

"My own people?"

I was annoyed by that – but I decided to ignore it for the moment and replied with, "I'm from South Korea."

"Latino" Mommy: "I know."

Me: "North Korea is the place with no freedoms and rights. I am not from there. I am from South Korea, where there is plenty of freedom and rights."

"Latino" Mommy: "So I guess you feel more pride for Korea."

At that point I assumed she was trying to make me feel bad. Or trying to prove her own internal concern than an INA (International Adoptee) is not as American as she is.

But the fact that I have very little "American pride" has nothing to do with the fact that I am an adoptee. It has everything to do with the way I was raised. (And to prove it – ask this same question to my sister!) And I am so glad that I was raised this way – I think it makes me a more open and diverse person. Fact is, as well, that I have very little pride for Korea as well.

And it's not because I dont like these places. I just feel that these things are not a result of who I am or what I have done. And I am a believer that you should not be proud of things that "just are" but rather your own accomplishments.


Entry filed under: Adoption.

I confess… Cultural Exposure

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. toni  |  April 20, 2006 at 5:54 pm

    oh my gracious. you seriously must have the patience of a saint. i can’t even imagine how i might have responded to the bimbo. i’m thinking my mouth would have just dropped to the ground. uh-oh 3 1/2 year old found the lipstick!!!!

  • 2. Sue  |  April 20, 2006 at 8:38 pm

    She forgot to ask about your Jewish pride! I wonder why that never occurred to her? 🙂

  • 3. stephanie  |  April 26, 2006 at 7:39 am

    Does this woman work in the adoption agency??? That is outrageous!!

  • 4. Margie  |  May 15, 2008 at 10:25 am

    This is an attitude that I think we have allowed adoption agencies to ignore too long. I don’t understand why more agencies don’t guide prospective a-parents more, wise them up more. I know I could have used it, still can!


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It’s just not that black & white. Not because I am taking a stand against. Just because, the issues I face are somewhere in the grey area and to weed through them, I blog. I blog. ~

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